For as long as he can remember, Gordon Irlam has been shy. "I can see it in photographs when I was young," says Irlam, 30. "I was always hiding and looking away." Also in the pi cture: a mother and father Irlam says were shy, too.
Irlam's family typifies the latest scientific findings on shyness. Increasingly, evidence suggests babies can inherit a bashful nature just as surely as long legs or vivid blue eyes.
Backed by pioneering research on brain waves and DNA, scientists say they are learning how to predict who will grow up shy -- and they hope someday to find a genetic cause for the shyness that afflicts tens of millions of Americans.
The syndrome known as shyness consists of three different types of symptoms: behaviors (being a wallflower, avoiding eye contact), physical symptoms (racing heart, blushing), and thoughts and feelings ("I'm so awkward," "Everyone is staring at me"). Each shy person has a combination of symptoms, says Wellesley College psychologist Jonathan Cheek.
In surveys, more than 90 percent of Americans say they have been shy at some time in their lives. Almost half say they're shy now.
Recently, scientists have concluded "that among all shy people there is a subgroup who are shy under all conditions," says Nathan Fox, a developmental psychologist at the University of Maryland. It is in this group, he says, that scientists find the stron gest signs of hereditary links to shyness.
What, exactly, is it that shy people inherit? One clue comes from Fox's research on infant brain waves.
In the study, babies wear a cap with sensors that detect the brain's electrical activity (EEG). Babies later found to be shy had more activity in their right frontal lobes than in their left, says Fox, while "uninhibited" babies had the opposite pattern.
Fox's research echoes the landmark studies of Harvard child psychologist Jerome Kagan. Over nearly two decades of research, Kagan found that 15 percent of babies (he labels them "inhibited") thrashed their arms and legs and cried when shown a strange new toy or a new person. Most, he found, grew into quiet, cautious children. The oldest of Kagan's inhibited kids are now teens, and many are still extremely anxious about socializing.
"There is no question that you're born with this bias," says Kagan.
Fox theorizes that the excess right-brain activity in extremely shy children originates deep within the brain in the amygdala, an almond-shaped structure closely involved in fear and anxiety. The amygdala of a shy child may be hypersensitive and easily ov erwhelmed by the unfamiliar, so that child may compensate by learning to avoid situations that seem intolerable.
Both Kagan and Fox recently began looking for a gene or genes that cause shyness, by screening the DNA of their study volunteers. The hunt could take a year or two, and reveal a dozen "shyness genes" -- or none.
If only 15 percent of people are born with a tendency to be very shy while almost 50 percent say they are shy, something besides genetics also is at work. "Shyness is like headache," says Kagan. "There are many different reasons" for it. Among them: overp rotective or abusive parents, a traumatic school experience, relocation at a young age, and embarrassment at a real or perceived disability.
New Yorker Laura Bernard, now 45, was an outgoing child until about age 11, when she was placed in special classes for students with learning disabilities. She retreated into shyness, she says, because she felt "different" and other kids teased her.
"Anyone can become shy under the right circumstances," says University of Massachusetts psychologist Doreen Arcus. Even many "non-shy" people become shy in certain situations, such as when giving a speech.
The number of shy people appears to be increasing, according to psychologists Bernardo Carducci, at Indiana University Southeast, and Philip Zimbardo, at Stanford University. Th eir surveys show that in the past decade, the proportion of young adults who say they are shy has risen from 40 percent to nearly 50 percent.
In part, Carducci and Zimbardo blame the increasing use of technology -- automated teller machines, voice mail, the Internet -- that gives youngsters less practice with social skills and allows adults to withdraw more easily. But other experts say going o nline actually helps shy people hone social skills they'll need in face-to-face encounters.
Even for people born with a tendency to be shy, there is hope: Biology is not destiny. Many inhibited babies became less so over time, Kagan says, particularly if parents were not overprotective.
Bernard knows firsthand that shy people can change. Psychotherapy helped, and she helped herself by taking jobs that "forced me to be around people." Now married, she works part time as a theater usher.
At 27, Gordon Irlam saw others his age starting families, while he'd never had a date. He vowed to address his problem: "I found a friend I could really trust, and talked to her." He also tackled his fear of phone by calling direct-mail companies to ask t hem to stop sending him junk mail.
Now, Irlam has a girlfriend; they met through an Internet personals advertisement. Although he'll probably always be somewhat shy, he says, "I've dealt with and overcome most of the serious problems."
Melissa Hendricks is a science writer for Johns Hopkins Magazine.