From: noreply@base.com (Gordon Irlam) To: shy@base.com Subject: Shyness FAQ Document: Shyness FAQ Current version: http://www.base.com/shy/shy-faq.txt Last updated: 2003-12-13 This Shyness FAQ is intended to answer common questions about shyness that are asked on the shyness mailing list. It does not address list administrative issues. ==> What is shyness? One simple definition of shyness is it is anxiety and/or behavioral inhibition that is related to social situations. There presently isn't a standardized definition or scale for measuring shyness. This makes it difficult to research shyness, since results of one study may not be comparable against study that uses a different definition or scale. ==> What is social phobia? Social phobia represents an extreme form of social inhibition and timidity. A standardized definition of social phobia is given in the DSM. In brief, this definition specifies: - a fear of actual and anticipated social situations, in which - exposure to the feared situation produces anxiety, and - the fear is seen to be excessive Having a standardized definition means a lot more is known about social phobia than shyness, because results from studies by different researchers can be readily combined. ==> What is the DSM? The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. This is the bible of clinical psychology. It attempts to give definitions of all the different conditions for which someone might seek help from a psychologist. ==> What is the relationship between shyness and social phobia? Because shyness is ill-defined, it is difficult to say for sure. They may form part of a continuum, or be different conditions with similar features. It seems most likely that shyness and social phobia are not identical, but they do overlap on some core characteristics. Much of this FAQ refers to social phobia, rather than shyness, not because we aren't as concerned about shyness, but because the precise clinic definition of social phobia has resulted in a lot more being known about it. A lot of the information should be relevant to shyness, although the degree of behavioral inhibition may be different. ==> What sorts of situations do people with social phobia fear? Fear is most common in social situations involving exposure to unfamiliar people and/or the possibility of being scrutinized and evaluated. situation percent of adults with sp that experience fear formal speaking 95% informal speaking/meetings 80% parties 80% maintaining conversation 65% initiating conversation 60% eating/drinking in public 35% writing in public 25% public restrooms 10% taking tests 10% ==> What are some common physical symptoms of social phobia? In addition to experiencing anxiety, blushing, sweating, a rapid heart rate, shaking, and trembling are all possible. ==> What is the relationship between alcohol and social phobia? 50% of people with social phobia use alcohol at times to reduce social distress. This is not a very good coping mechanism. Going in the other direction, 10-50% of alcoholics, experience social phobia. ==> What are the social skills of people with social phobia? Some people with social phobia have fewer social skills than normal because of a lack of socialization experiences. ==> What treatments are available for social phobia? Both therapy and pharmacological treatments are available for social phobia. ==> What therapies have been shown to work for social phobia? Both behavioral and cognitive-behavioral treatment has been shown to be effective for treating social phobia. Behavioral treatment involves providing *carefully structured* exposures to feared situations, such that the patient learns to overcome their fears. Cognitive-behavioral treatment involves combining behavioral treatment with cognitive therapy intended to help the patient recognise and challenge any cognitive distortions, that is maladaptive thoughts, contributing to the social anxiety. Social skills training may also be helpful. It involves teaching patients how to interact in specific social situations which they might not fully understand due to a previous lack of socialization experiences. ==> What cognitive distortions are commonly associated with shyness? [ Taken from "Feeling Good" by David Burns http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0380810336/basecom ] 1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white extremes. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure. 2. OVER-GENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending patter n of defeat. 3. MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water. 4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences, insisting that they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences. 5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion: (A) MIND READING: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don't bother to check this out. (B) THE FORTUNE TELLER ERROR: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your future prediction is an already-established fact. 6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else's achievements), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or another person's imperfections). This is also called the "binocular trick." 7. EMOTIONAL REASONING: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel it, therefore it must be true." 8. "SHOULD" STATEMENTS: You try to motivate yourself with should's and shouldn'ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. "Musts" and "oughts" are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment. 9. LABELING AND MISLABELING: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. "I'm a loser." When someone else's behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him: "He's a Goddamn louse." M islabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded. 10. PERSONALIZATION: You see yourself as the root cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for. ==> What pharmacological treatments are available for social phobia? Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as fluoxetine (prozac) have been shown to be effective in treating social phobia. [To be continued]